Here it is:
An insight into a lack of sight.
So many times I have told people: "I am legally blind".
But if I am honest, even I don't really know what that means...
I am not completely blind. That is obvious.
Painfully, sometimes even more so when people see me drawing.
An eye doctor once told me it is all about 1/20.
For every metre I can see, most people can see twenty.
This may surprise most of you but this photograph has captured perfectly my world and how I see people... I am legally blind and have been since I was eleven.
Until I am about 1.5 metres away from someone (even with my glasses on), this is what they look like to me through my one good eye. Once I have met them for the first time, there are a lot of other factors that allow me to recognise them again the next time we meet. These include senses (i.e. smell), people's clothing choices & colours, posture/body-language, hair colour or style, hats & other fashion accessories, voice (this is a BIG one), etc.
Perhaps this is why I am (personally) very drawn to people with
accents & brightly coloured hair.
Painfully, sometimes even more so when people see me drawing.
An eye doctor once told me it is all about 1/20.
For every metre I can see, most people can see twenty.
This may surprise most of you but this photograph has captured perfectly my world and how I see people... I am legally blind and have been since I was eleven.
Until I am about 1.5 metres away from someone (even with my glasses on), this is what they look like to me through my one good eye. Once I have met them for the first time, there are a lot of other factors that allow me to recognise them again the next time we meet. These include senses (i.e. smell), people's clothing choices & colours, posture/body-language, hair colour or style, hats & other fashion accessories, voice (this is a BIG one), etc.
Perhaps this is why I am (personally) very drawn to people with
accents & brightly coloured hair.
There is a lot of guessing and bluffing involved too.
And a photographic memory for colour (and blurred, smaller details on someone's face).
I have also had 35+ years to develop & fine-tune my strongest sense of all...
My intuition.
This (somedays) impressionist, (other days) surrealist world I inhabit is a constant source
of wonder, awe and joy. However, (on a day-to-day level of survival and well-being) this can often also be very scary, intimidating and frustrating. Smaller details in this world like seeing out of a tram window or reading street signs are near impossible. Crossing the road safely is a constant, at times nerve-racking adventure.
In some areas (like the suburb I live in), it would appear that pedestrians are an annoyance to local drivers, visually-disabled or not. It would probably scare those nearest and dearest to me if they knew how often I nearly get run over in an average week.
And I won't even begin to bore you with how bad my night vision is.
Ever since I was a teenager, I have had an irrational fear of people driving (after dark)
who have forgotten to put their car headlights on. More common than you may think.
I sometimes wish I could share with those closest & dearest in my life this very unique way
I see the world and everything in it. Then there are other days that it becomes too much to bear... And I wouldn't want to wish "my vision" upon my worst enemy.
But I have no doubt that this way of seeing makes me more of an artist
(in my words as much as my cartoons and paintings).
And (at times) it allows me to see (ahem, for want of a better word)
the more important things in this life.
Those who love me (and know me very well, or for a long time) will know what I mean.
I personally have a very warped (and not very popular)
view (sorry, another ironic choice of word there)
that sight is a very overrated sense. I get it. That most people in this world
are blessed with perfect sight, and that the world is just... Well. Visual.
But I feel that the other senses are very undervalued.
We need to invest just as much time (and effort) into them on a day-to-day basis, too.
I am sure my friends who are professional chefs or musicians will agree.
Even writing this blog, I have come to realise that the written & spoken word (world?)
is littered in references pertaining to sight.
In conclusion...
I personally feel very blessed (and thankful) for the higher sensorary (is that even a word?) experiences that come from my senses of smell and taste.
In short, food and eating are a constant source of joy!!
And recently, I was very blessed to meet someone
(with a wonderful accent and love for words/poetry)
who shared with me an over-abundance of consensual, loving touch.
A sensual meeting, coupled with trust and equal measures of primal lust,
(in short)) like no other I have ever experienced...
This pure, unadulterated (mutual) experience with another gentle, sexual, brave & intimate human-being (and wordsmith) will stay with me (haunt me) for the rest of my days. *
I hope you have enjoyed this little 'insight into a lack of sight'.
Feel free to share it around if you find it amusing, inspiring or vaguely interesting.
It is one thing to try walking in the shoes of another.
Try seeing the world through another's eyes.
PS Further reading?
A book I read recently -yes! the legally blind read, too!! ;) - that I really enjoyed was
"Planet of the Blind" by Stephen Kuusisto.
This wonderful, heartbreaking yet joy-filled & life-affirming memoir reminded me
that every legally-blind person has a very unique and separate experience
of the world in which they live, inhabit & co-exist.
It has a lot of references in it to poetry and birds, too - two of my other big loves.
I can't recommend this book enough.
And a photographic memory for colour (and blurred, smaller details on someone's face).
I have also had 35+ years to develop & fine-tune my strongest sense of all...
My intuition.
This (somedays) impressionist, (other days) surrealist world I inhabit is a constant source
of wonder, awe and joy. However, (on a day-to-day level of survival and well-being) this can often also be very scary, intimidating and frustrating. Smaller details in this world like seeing out of a tram window or reading street signs are near impossible. Crossing the road safely is a constant, at times nerve-racking adventure.
In some areas (like the suburb I live in), it would appear that pedestrians are an annoyance to local drivers, visually-disabled or not. It would probably scare those nearest and dearest to me if they knew how often I nearly get run over in an average week.
And I won't even begin to bore you with how bad my night vision is.
Ever since I was a teenager, I have had an irrational fear of people driving (after dark)
who have forgotten to put their car headlights on. More common than you may think.
I sometimes wish I could share with those closest & dearest in my life this very unique way
I see the world and everything in it. Then there are other days that it becomes too much to bear... And I wouldn't want to wish "my vision" upon my worst enemy.
But I have no doubt that this way of seeing makes me more of an artist
(in my words as much as my cartoons and paintings).
And (at times) it allows me to see (ahem, for want of a better word)
the more important things in this life.
Those who love me (and know me very well, or for a long time) will know what I mean.
I personally have a very warped (and not very popular)
view (sorry, another ironic choice of word there)
that sight is a very overrated sense. I get it. That most people in this world
are blessed with perfect sight, and that the world is just... Well. Visual.
But I feel that the other senses are very undervalued.
We need to invest just as much time (and effort) into them on a day-to-day basis, too.
I am sure my friends who are professional chefs or musicians will agree.
Even writing this blog, I have come to realise that the written & spoken word (world?)
is littered in references pertaining to sight.
In conclusion...
I personally feel very blessed (and thankful) for the higher sensorary (is that even a word?) experiences that come from my senses of smell and taste.
In short, food and eating are a constant source of joy!!
And recently, I was very blessed to meet someone
(with a wonderful accent and love for words/poetry)
who shared with me an over-abundance of consensual, loving touch.
A sensual meeting, coupled with trust and equal measures of primal lust,
(in short)) like no other I have ever experienced...
This pure, unadulterated (mutual) experience with another gentle, sexual, brave & intimate human-being (and wordsmith) will stay with me (haunt me) for the rest of my days. *
I hope you have enjoyed this little 'insight into a lack of sight'.
Feel free to share it around if you find it amusing, inspiring or vaguely interesting.
It is one thing to try walking in the shoes of another.
Try seeing the world through another's eyes.
PS Further reading?
A book I read recently -yes! the legally blind read, too!! ;) - that I really enjoyed was
"Planet of the Blind" by Stephen Kuusisto.
This wonderful, heartbreaking yet joy-filled & life-affirming memoir reminded me
that every legally-blind person has a very unique and separate experience
of the world in which they live, inhabit & co-exist.
It has a lot of references in it to poetry and birds, too - two of my other big loves.
I can't recommend this book enough.
PSS Further viewing??
http://vimeo.com/114459898
"Had the price of looking been blindness, I would have looked."
(Ralph Ellison)
* "God! Yes!! I would have looked..."
(Brent Harpur)
http://vimeo.com/114459898
"Had the price of looking been blindness, I would have looked."
(Ralph Ellison)
* "God! Yes!! I would have looked..."
(Brent Harpur)
